First off, I have to apologize for being so scarce. I havn't blogged in about 4 months. I wish I had a good excuse, but all I can say is I didn't feel like it. I didn't feel like I had anything of worth to say. I still don't feel like what I'm posting now is of life altering value, but I suppose that doesn't mean I shouldn't post it.
I'm in the midst of reading C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters. If you havn't read this book, I would strongly recommend that you do. For those of you who don't know what this book is about, here's a brief explanation. The book is written in the form of many letters written from Screwtape, to his nephew Wormwood. Screwtape and Wormwood are both devils working for the head devil, Satan. Wormwood is a beginner in the realm of tempting and deceiving, therefore Screwtape, being the affectionate uncle that he is, writes letters of advice to his nephew since he is well seasoned in the art. Wormwood is put in charge over a human, a man who is a new Christian. Wormwood's goal is to win the human over to their side and keep him away from The Enemy (God). I know what you're thinking, if the man is a new Christian, isn't he already on God's side? That would be our hope. But the interesting angle that this book implies is that it is after the man becomes a Christian that the real work begins. If you're a Christian, you realize this to be true. Satan doesn't take much notice of us until we are in God's grasp. It is then that the real struggles, trials, and tribulations begin in our lives. Screwtape instructs Wormwood to use things such as the church, prayer, and love as weapons against the man. I want you to realize that these are not Satan's weapons to be using. But isn't it true that he succeeds in using the very things that are meant to protect us, to defeat us? If you are unaware of this, then you are exactly where he wants you. He doesn't want us to realize his schemes. When we think of the typical things Satan uses to win Christian back over to his side, we think of things such as alcohol, greed, lust, stealing, etc. And it's true, he does use these things. But what makes these weapons so much weaker than the ones I mentioned before is that they are too obvious. It's easy to see the fault in getting drunk or committing adultery. What is much less obvious is something such as becoming complacent as you attend church service each Sunday. Or saying parrot-like, heartless prayers. You may not be ensnared by worldly temptations, but you may be ensnared by deceptive lies of the devil without even realizing it. You sit in church, among your brothers and sisters, and do nothing but judge the whole time. "This preacher is long winded." "That woman is not dressed appropriately." "Those teenagers aren't paying attention, they just don't care." But you're at church, so that makes you good. We are so blind to the real attacks of the devil. We constantly fight off the pebbles thrown at us without ever putting up a barricade for the cannons fired. We have to start seeing the attacks for what they are. We have to start knowing our enemy well enough to guard against his schemes. We have to stop lying to ourselves thinking we're safe just because we say a prayer a day and attend church service twice a week. Those are the lies that our enemy wants us to believe.
Ephesians 6:10-18 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stan firm then with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."
1 Corinthians 16:13-14 "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Let all that you do be done in love."
Let's fight back.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Losses and Gains
"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else; and for everything you gain, you lose something else. It is about your outlook towards life. You can either regret or rejoice."
I have learned the hard way that you can't be in two places at once, much less three. In the past two years of my life I have missed out on countless births, deaths, graduations, new beginnings, life crisis', and life-long memories of the people that I hold closest to my heart. This is all because I simply can't be in two places at once. This undeniable, unavoidable truth has brought me many tears and struggles. I am faced with the reality that when I go home to be reunited with all the lives that I've been removed from, none of the stories they share with me will involve me. I will have had no physical imprint on their lives for two years. If you've never experienced this kind of loss then you can't possibly understand the hurt and internal struggle it causes for someone. We base so much of who we are off of our relationships and dealings with others. When you lose the connections with people in your life you lose part of your basis for what makes you you, and in turn you go into somewhat of an identity crisis. To fall in line with the line of truths though, is the the truth that says you have to be somewhere. It may not be where you want to be. It may not be where you think you should or need to be. But you have to be somewhere. You can't be nowhere. (I'll revisit this thought in a moment) For now, you have to be somewhere. When removed from your normal situation and surroundings which attribute to who you are, you are placed in a new "somewhere". This new somewhere is now the contributing factor to who you are. (The absence of the "old somewhere" also contributes to who you are, just in a more indirect way.) Yes, the sad reality is that everyone still in your old somewhere continues on with their lives, developing who they are everyday. The only difference is that you no longer have direct influence on that process. Although, your absence may have more influence on someone's life than your presence ever could. Coming back to my statement saying you can't be nowhere; if you were nowhere you'd become nobody. Since nowhere has nothing to contribute to who you are, no outside factors influencing you, changing you, growing you, you would eventually become nobody. Just a hollow shell of human flesh. But since nowhere does not exist, then nobodies don't exist either. If you are somewhere, or should I say BECAUSE you are somewhere, you are somebody. So, here you are, in your new somewhere, absorbing and conforming, learning and growing, based on its influences. I have found that it is quite depressing to dwell on all that you are missing in your old somewhere. That is why I try to focus more on all the new things and people in my current somewhere. One somewhere is not necessarily better than another somewhere, though you may disagree based on limited humanistic insight and standards. No matter which somewhere I'm in, who I am is being affected. I can't put a value on all the experiences that make up me. There will always be a loss for every gain, but more importantly, there will always be a gain for every loss. It is the compilation of gains and losses in our lives that make us who we are. What's more, it is what we do with these gains and losses that determines our character as well as our influence on the people's lives around us. Don't live your life regretting the losses and diminishing the gains. Rather look at your losses as lessons, therefore making them gains. And lastly, rejoice in your gains, never over-looking a blessing that has been given.
I have learned the hard way that you can't be in two places at once, much less three. In the past two years of my life I have missed out on countless births, deaths, graduations, new beginnings, life crisis', and life-long memories of the people that I hold closest to my heart. This is all because I simply can't be in two places at once. This undeniable, unavoidable truth has brought me many tears and struggles. I am faced with the reality that when I go home to be reunited with all the lives that I've been removed from, none of the stories they share with me will involve me. I will have had no physical imprint on their lives for two years. If you've never experienced this kind of loss then you can't possibly understand the hurt and internal struggle it causes for someone. We base so much of who we are off of our relationships and dealings with others. When you lose the connections with people in your life you lose part of your basis for what makes you you, and in turn you go into somewhat of an identity crisis. To fall in line with the line of truths though, is the the truth that says you have to be somewhere. It may not be where you want to be. It may not be where you think you should or need to be. But you have to be somewhere. You can't be nowhere. (I'll revisit this thought in a moment) For now, you have to be somewhere. When removed from your normal situation and surroundings which attribute to who you are, you are placed in a new "somewhere". This new somewhere is now the contributing factor to who you are. (The absence of the "old somewhere" also contributes to who you are, just in a more indirect way.) Yes, the sad reality is that everyone still in your old somewhere continues on with their lives, developing who they are everyday. The only difference is that you no longer have direct influence on that process. Although, your absence may have more influence on someone's life than your presence ever could. Coming back to my statement saying you can't be nowhere; if you were nowhere you'd become nobody. Since nowhere has nothing to contribute to who you are, no outside factors influencing you, changing you, growing you, you would eventually become nobody. Just a hollow shell of human flesh. But since nowhere does not exist, then nobodies don't exist either. If you are somewhere, or should I say BECAUSE you are somewhere, you are somebody. So, here you are, in your new somewhere, absorbing and conforming, learning and growing, based on its influences. I have found that it is quite depressing to dwell on all that you are missing in your old somewhere. That is why I try to focus more on all the new things and people in my current somewhere. One somewhere is not necessarily better than another somewhere, though you may disagree based on limited humanistic insight and standards. No matter which somewhere I'm in, who I am is being affected. I can't put a value on all the experiences that make up me. There will always be a loss for every gain, but more importantly, there will always be a gain for every loss. It is the compilation of gains and losses in our lives that make us who we are. What's more, it is what we do with these gains and losses that determines our character as well as our influence on the people's lives around us. Don't live your life regretting the losses and diminishing the gains. Rather look at your losses as lessons, therefore making them gains. And lastly, rejoice in your gains, never over-looking a blessing that has been given.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Broken People
I just finished reading a really good book called Wisdom Hunter. It was quite thought provoking I must say. One of the main messages I got from the book was this: there are broken people all around us who need God, but many times the facade that many Christians put up pushes these broken people away. We try to look like polished, got-it-all-together type of people. If we are honest with ourselves, we are all once broken people. The only difference between Christians and the rest of the world is that Christ the Carpenter of Lives has repaired our brokenness. Us as Christians have exactly what is needed to cure a broken life...yet many times we are so consumed with our own lives and struggles and junk that we turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to the thousands and thousands of people crying out around us. I'm not minimizing anyone's battles, I understand that life is hard, but one thing I've found is that my problems seem less earth shattering when I focus on other people. When my thoughts are turned outward to others, my ears are opened to their stories and pleas for help, and my eyes opened to the opportunities God provides for healing, the less I worry about the things that plague my own life. I'm going to commit to being more observant of people. Everywhere I go I will look for signs of brokenness. I will tune my ears to hear the cries for help. And I will offer the hand that could be the hand that saves a life. A person who is dying inside can be walked passed hundreds of times in a day because people's eyes are closed. They have tunnel vision. Their focus is on their schedules, their hobbies, their objectives...I don't want to have tunnel vision. I want to have world wide vision. Christ's vision was perfect. 20/20. He was constantly attentive to the people around him...so much so that he would lose sleep over it. One of the most beautiful characteristics that God put in humans is the ability to empathize with each other. Don't waste this gift. All of the experiences in your life can be used to encourage, relate, and empathize with someone else experiencing the same thing. Use whatever pain you've endured to comfort someone else. Don't waste the pain and hardships that have molded you into who you are...given you wisdom that can be passed down.
Everyone has a story. Tell people yours, and let them tell you theirs. I think if we all do this we will find that the phrase "no one understands what I'm going through" is a statement that could be removed from everyone's vocabulary.
Everyone has a story. Tell people yours, and let them tell you theirs. I think if we all do this we will find that the phrase "no one understands what I'm going through" is a statement that could be removed from everyone's vocabulary.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
an outpouring of thought
Life is hard. Being human has to be the most difficult way to spend time on this earth. In between dealing with schedules, responsibilities, obstacles, and setbacks we are expected to look good, say the right things, and fit in with every other human being trying to do the exact same things. As if all that weren't enough to keep one busy, let's just throw some emotions and free will in the mix to really keep things interesting. Not only your own emotions and free will, but the emotions and free will of every single soul around you and in the rest of the world. To me, this sounds like a recipe for disaster. To God, this is the most beautiful thing ever created. I will never understand this Creator of mine...even still, I will never stop trying.
Why does God see this as beauty? How does he not see the chaos? How can he look past the insanity of it all straight to the heart? As a small, insignificant human looking around me I get so lost and depressed when I see the billions of people in this world. Who am I? Do I matter? Does what I do make a difference? I feel like just a number sometimes. I get so angry sometimes when I think about the simple act of being alive. I didn't choose to be born, yet I was, and now I'm forced to run this race. We all are. We are all running a race...though I see it more as a labrynth that I have to walk through, unsure of what's around the next corner. And then there's God...the all-knowing..all-seeing..all-powerful being that brought me into this place. Though he says he's with me, I don't feel him most of the time. Though he says he loves me, I can't understand why. Though he says I matter, how can I when I am just one in billions? He brought me into this world and tells me I am not of this world and that I don't belong here...yet wants me to spend X amount of years here trying to bring people to Christ so that they can realize they don't belong here eiter...this is crazy. How do you live in a place you don't belong? How do you find happiness in a place that's not your home? This is something I have not figured out yet. The only thing my small human mind can comprehend is that I'm here for a reason. That reason is bigger than me. That reason is God.
Why does God see this as beauty? How does he not see the chaos? How can he look past the insanity of it all straight to the heart? As a small, insignificant human looking around me I get so lost and depressed when I see the billions of people in this world. Who am I? Do I matter? Does what I do make a difference? I feel like just a number sometimes. I get so angry sometimes when I think about the simple act of being alive. I didn't choose to be born, yet I was, and now I'm forced to run this race. We all are. We are all running a race...though I see it more as a labrynth that I have to walk through, unsure of what's around the next corner. And then there's God...the all-knowing..all-seeing..all-powerful being that brought me into this place. Though he says he's with me, I don't feel him most of the time. Though he says he loves me, I can't understand why. Though he says I matter, how can I when I am just one in billions? He brought me into this world and tells me I am not of this world and that I don't belong here...yet wants me to spend X amount of years here trying to bring people to Christ so that they can realize they don't belong here eiter...this is crazy. How do you live in a place you don't belong? How do you find happiness in a place that's not your home? This is something I have not figured out yet. The only thing my small human mind can comprehend is that I'm here for a reason. That reason is bigger than me. That reason is God.
Monday, December 5, 2011
My God called Love
Love.
A thing of unutterable beauty.
No man can capture or bottle its power.
A thing of unutterable beauty.
No man can capture or bottle its power.
No man can fathom its depth.
Its very essence, shrouded in mystery,
yet every soul possesses the capability,
To love.
Born before time, it remains the very reason for our being.
Not able to fit in one of our man-made categories..
Person. Place. Thing. Action.
Transcending all our feeble understandings.
Love simply is...and always has been...and always will be.
It is who we are. It is where we go.
It is what surrounds us. It is what we do.
In it we live and move and have our being.
One might say we are its slaves.
So I willingly serve this god called love,
for its more powerful than any other god I've known.
When other gods have failed me, Love has remained.
So.
I will not serve the god of money,
for money runs out like a dried up stream.
I will not serve the god of lust,
To love.
Born before time, it remains the very reason for our being.
Not able to fit in one of our man-made categories..
Person. Place. Thing. Action.
Transcending all our feeble understandings.
Love simply is...and always has been...and always will be.
It is who we are. It is where we go.
It is what surrounds us. It is what we do.
In it we live and move and have our being.
One might say we are its slaves.
So I willingly serve this god called love,
for its more powerful than any other god I've known.
When other gods have failed me, Love has remained.
So.
I will not serve the god of money,
for money runs out like a dried up stream.
I will not serve the god of lust,
for lust is fleeting and is a breaker of hearts.
I will not serve the gods of jealousy, or anger, laziness, or revenge,
for these are thieves of joy and peace.
for these are thieves of joy and peace.
And I will not serve the god of self,
for self destroys both body and soul.
No, I have resolved to serve this God called Love and Him alone.
For Love endures and never fails.
Proven time and time again,
my God called Love has defeated all others.
Whatever power they possess, if any power at all,
can not stand in the face of Love.
My master is Love, and I His slave.
My life is ever changing to be more like Love.
He is my reason for breathing, the only reason I need.
For if not for Love, I'd still be dead.
killed by my former gods..
My God called Love rescued me, never to see death again,
For Love endures and never fails.
Proven time and time again,
my God called Love has defeated all others.
Whatever power they possess, if any power at all,
can not stand in the face of Love.
My master is Love, and I His slave.
My life is ever changing to be more like Love.
He is my reason for breathing, the only reason I need.
For if not for Love, I'd still be dead.
killed by my former gods..
My God called Love rescued me, never to see death again,
and for that I will serve Him forever.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Born to Fly
Ever wish you were a bird? These creatures that God created have hollow bones, beautiful feathers, the ability to make intricate nests using just their beaks, oh yeah...and they can fly. This last characteristic is the one that peaks my interest most. Birds defy gravity in a sense. I was sitting out on the beach today watching some of the birds fly over-head thinking to myself, wow, they seem so free. I'm sure you have thought this same thing at some point in your hectic life. What a joy it would be if I could just be a bird and fly away. Life gets us down doesn't it? Gravity is constantly keeping our feet on the ground. If you jump up, you will come down. If you jump off of a high point, the ground is your destination. I think sin does the same thing to us. It keeps us down. It is constantly pulling on us and we are constantly fighting it. We spend our lives looking up at birds saying, "Oh if only I could fly!" I have news for you, you were born to fly. Of course, not in the literal sense (though that would be sweet!). I mean, our spirits were born, created to fly. Christ has set us free from sin! You are no longer grounded if you are in Christ! Christ has made you a bird at last! Isn't that beautiful?
Now, I must convey to you the second half of my thoughts while sitting on the beach. As I'm sitting there watching the birds, dreaming of what it'd be like to fly, I notice something. The birds are flapping their wings. They have to keep flapping in order to keep flying. Granted, when they catch the wind right they can glide, but for the most part they have to keep flapping. Seems like a lot of work. Same goes for us birds in Christ. Yes, we are free. Yes, we can fly. But we must never stop flapping our wings. Gravity doesn't stop pulling on birds just because they can fly. Sin doesn't stop pulling on Christians just because they are saved. Being a Christian is an everyday effort. It's exhausting at times. Sometimes you feel like you've just flown over the ocean and you want to give your wings a rest. We can't stop flying. Our souls depend on it. Christ is the wind beneath our wings and when we feel like we can't fly any further, he will provide the wind for us to glide. But we can't stop flying.
Next time you see a bird don't sit there wishing you could fly; rejoice in the fact that you can! Christ has made you a bird. Don't let your soul be burdened by the gravity of sin. You were born to fly. Yes, you must flap your wings...but that's just part of flying.
So defy gravity today! Spread your wings! And never stop flying.
Now, I must convey to you the second half of my thoughts while sitting on the beach. As I'm sitting there watching the birds, dreaming of what it'd be like to fly, I notice something. The birds are flapping their wings. They have to keep flapping in order to keep flying. Granted, when they catch the wind right they can glide, but for the most part they have to keep flapping. Seems like a lot of work. Same goes for us birds in Christ. Yes, we are free. Yes, we can fly. But we must never stop flapping our wings. Gravity doesn't stop pulling on birds just because they can fly. Sin doesn't stop pulling on Christians just because they are saved. Being a Christian is an everyday effort. It's exhausting at times. Sometimes you feel like you've just flown over the ocean and you want to give your wings a rest. We can't stop flying. Our souls depend on it. Christ is the wind beneath our wings and when we feel like we can't fly any further, he will provide the wind for us to glide. But we can't stop flying.
Next time you see a bird don't sit there wishing you could fly; rejoice in the fact that you can! Christ has made you a bird. Don't let your soul be burdened by the gravity of sin. You were born to fly. Yes, you must flap your wings...but that's just part of flying.
So defy gravity today! Spread your wings! And never stop flying.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Schedule or Spirit
Good morning Reader,
I'm inspired this morning. Inspired to do something...something different. Do you ever get tired of routine? Of the same ol' same ol'? I do. I know what you're thinking..."but kelci, you're in south africa having the craziest adventure of your life! how could you be tired of 'routine'?" Well folks, I've got some news for you, routine is a global thing. I'm not saying routine is all bad. I believe we need some order to our lives. Our God is a God of order for sure. But I also believe our God is a God who rocks the boat...and thoroughly enjoys it! I've been going 3 months strong now here and it's been great, but I feel like there's more to be done. We have our weekly schedule that we stick to. Ministries on this, this and this day. That day is our day off. Church on Sunday of course. Oh and team day on that day. Cool. But what if the Holy Spirit doesn't do schedules? Which do we follow? Schedule or Spirit? I believe this is a huge problem in the churches today. We have our set times for worship. Our set days for specific ministries. Our perfectly planned out evangelistic efforts. We even plan baptisms sometimes! The problem with all this planning is that we get in this mind-set of there being a beginning time and an ending time for our Spiritual life. We think, ok...I've given God His allotted time this week, I can punch my Spiritual time card and go home to relax. What is this?! As if we even had a "spiritual time card"! Brothers and Sisters, we have to learn to be in tune with the Holy Spirit...even when we're not necessarily "on the clock".
Lately I've had this deep longing to start a house church out in one of the townships. (a township is a government given housing area for people who once lived in shacks) Townships are some of the poorest parts of the city. Many people would say that they're some of the most dangerous parts of the city as well. I say they need Christ. I imagine so many possibilities if we were to start a house church out in one. In my short life of being an active disciple of Christ, I've found that the most receptive people are the ones in need. People who aren't in need of physical things usually don't seem to see their need for spiritual things. But people who are in need of physical things usually see their need for the spiritual as well. Think of some of the people that Christ impacted. He almost always addressed a physical need (aka healing of some sort or food), then he would address the spiritual need. Since the people saw his love for them in his caring for their physical needs, they listened to him about their spiritual needs as well. We can do the same thing. Show people we care about them physically, and they will be more likely to receive us when we show concern for them spiritually.
I'm inspired this morning. Inspired to do something...something different. Do you ever get tired of routine? Of the same ol' same ol'? I do. I know what you're thinking..."but kelci, you're in south africa having the craziest adventure of your life! how could you be tired of 'routine'?" Well folks, I've got some news for you, routine is a global thing. I'm not saying routine is all bad. I believe we need some order to our lives. Our God is a God of order for sure. But I also believe our God is a God who rocks the boat...and thoroughly enjoys it! I've been going 3 months strong now here and it's been great, but I feel like there's more to be done. We have our weekly schedule that we stick to. Ministries on this, this and this day. That day is our day off. Church on Sunday of course. Oh and team day on that day. Cool. But what if the Holy Spirit doesn't do schedules? Which do we follow? Schedule or Spirit? I believe this is a huge problem in the churches today. We have our set times for worship. Our set days for specific ministries. Our perfectly planned out evangelistic efforts. We even plan baptisms sometimes! The problem with all this planning is that we get in this mind-set of there being a beginning time and an ending time for our Spiritual life. We think, ok...I've given God His allotted time this week, I can punch my Spiritual time card and go home to relax. What is this?! As if we even had a "spiritual time card"! Brothers and Sisters, we have to learn to be in tune with the Holy Spirit...even when we're not necessarily "on the clock".
Lately I've had this deep longing to start a house church out in one of the townships. (a township is a government given housing area for people who once lived in shacks) Townships are some of the poorest parts of the city. Many people would say that they're some of the most dangerous parts of the city as well. I say they need Christ. I imagine so many possibilities if we were to start a house church out in one. In my short life of being an active disciple of Christ, I've found that the most receptive people are the ones in need. People who aren't in need of physical things usually don't seem to see their need for spiritual things. But people who are in need of physical things usually see their need for the spiritual as well. Think of some of the people that Christ impacted. He almost always addressed a physical need (aka healing of some sort or food), then he would address the spiritual need. Since the people saw his love for them in his caring for their physical needs, they listened to him about their spiritual needs as well. We can do the same thing. Show people we care about them physically, and they will be more likely to receive us when we show concern for them spiritually.
ok, that was a bit of a side point. Back to my desire to start this house church. I truly believe this is the Holy Spirit's leading. The only problem is that it conflicts with my schedule. So I stand at a crossroad. I can either push the idea out of my mind and continue on with my week to week schedule, or I can shake up my schedule and try to follow the leading of the Spirit.
I think I choose the second option.
I think I choose the second option.
People, the Spirit works on His own time.
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